Hidden
by avalise
Summary: AU. Sonic has been having an affair with Shadow for more then half of his and Amy's relationship. What happens when Shadow can no longer take being hidden? Shadow x Sonic x Amy, Sonadow, Slash
1. Shattered

**Disclaimer: **The characters used are not mine but are copyright of Sega and SonicTeam.

**Author's Notes:**This story is completely AU (alternate universe.)

**Hidden**

**Chapter One**: Shattered

"Sonic…you're the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

He ran off into the night and within seconds, I'm left with just a dark, empty path lying in front of me. For a moment, I could've sworn it was laughing at me, bearing it's teeth, attempting to smash my heart into even more pieces then the words had broken it into.

I can still see the dirt floating through the air that his jet shoes had caused.

My mind went…blank. It is literally speechless, mimicking my dry throat. Not that I can say anything anyway, he is long gone. He ran so fast, I forgot just how fast he could go until it was to get away from me.

I didn't mean to hurt him, I really didn't. Just…Amy, I can't let her go, and it's not even _her_, but more so the _image_. I am everyone's hero, I need that signature girl…not _guy_.

I've been hiding him for the past two years.

I still remember the night I met him. We were both in a bar that we would never go to, out at an hour that we would both never be out at, and fate shook both our hands.

I had a bad case of insomnia that month for some reason, I still couldn't tell you why, but at about 12 AM that morning, I decided to go out for a run. That's not the unusual part, the unusual part is where I ended up. I found myself in Marenden. It was that city that everyone knows of. We all have one. That city where you seem to always hear the police sirens only a few blocks away and, a city where the streets were dirty, windows were boarded up, and every corner you took, you had to hope that your wallet would still be in your pocket half way down the block. It's the city not everyone has to live in, but everyone knows about. But I was Sonic the Hedgehog. I didn't fear anything then, and I thought I was invincible, but it was still strange that I ended up there. I never visited, especially not at 12 in the morning.

The bar I found was even more odd for me to be in. The red neon sign read "Jack's Tavern." At least, that's what it was supposed to be. When I stopped in front of it, I read "Ja k's vern—" bulbs were burnt out. I stood there staring at the wooden door, debating whether or not to go in. I couldn't tell you why I did.

Inside wasn't too impressive either. It was a very dark atmosphere, so much, I thought a few lights were out in the place just like the sign outside. The ceiling must have once been a white but turned gray from all of the smokers. The walls were all wooden, chipped in more places then I could count. There were a few people to the right of the room, sitting at scattered tables, hardly engaging in any sort of conversation. All of them kind of just looked down at their drinks in a somber state.

'_I probably won't be in here past five minutes.'_ I thought to myself.

I went straight for the bar, and I was the only one who occupied one of the stools there. The bottom of one leg was off on the stool I chose, so every which way I shifted, I'd tilt either to the left or the right.

'_Maybe I'll be out in three.'_

I eyed the turned bartender a bit before I asked for anything. He was a squirrel, probably around 27, four years older than myself, who looked like he was in the last place he wanted to be at the moment. He had a black, long-sleeved, button up shirt on with the sleeves rolled up to his actually muscular forearms. There was a tattoo showing through his brown fur, but I couldn't make it out.

He turned around with a rag and a clear glass. He slammed it on the bar, threw the rag behind him, knowing it would land in a bucket, which it did, and he peered down at me with intimidating eyes. "Whaddya want?" His voice was raspy, right along with the image he was putting off. He kind of reminded me of an old, dirty sailor without the uniform.

I just cocked an eyebrow at him. He obviously didn't know who I was, but I guess that I didn't really expect him too. This town was like a different country from where I lived and was known. I just looked at him as if I wasn't fazed by anything, "vodka and orange juice on the rocks."

"Screwdriver." He mumbled to himself, more to store the drink into his short-term memory then for me to hear.

A deep voice seemed to come from out of nowhere. "Hm, a vodka drinker. I'll have a gin and tonic."

The bartender looked up to see his new customer, then back down to continue with the drinks.

I looked beside myself to notice the once empty seat was no longer, and now there wasn't one being ordering a drink but two. A black hedgehog painted with red stripes along his quills was now sitting beside me.

He leaned his elbows on the bar, and turned his head towards me casually, looking me dead in the eyes. I remember his crimson eyes staring directly into mine for only a few seconds, but it seemed like an hour, and I didn't want to move.

He turned his head away from mine and took his drink from the bartender. He didn't bother to say thank you, but I did, which just resulted in a sort of grunt from the "sailor." This ebony creature must've been here before.

Although, I never would've guessed it. He didn't look like he would be in here at all. Despite his black and red fur, he didn't look the part for this place. He had this white dress shirt on, seemed to be ironed earlier on in the day, under a black jacket above plain black pants. His shoes were a bit of a different kind of attire though. Those white, black and red jet shoes I become all too familiar with later on. They were the only pair he had, they gave him his speed. I couldn't see them fully that night though, the black pants draped over them a little.

But he seemed a little too...classy for this dump.

As I looked him over, my eyes were burning into him and we both knew he felt it. He looked simple but I was drawn to him for some reason, and I've never been drawn to a guy. My fear of it was kind of pushed away considering no one knew me here, I was like a different person in a new world.

I felt a connection before we even spoke.

I grabbed for my drink off the bar and that's when he turned to me, asking me if I wanted to move to a table instead of sitting on those stools, so we moved, though the tables weren't much better. How my stool wobbled earlier? Now the table did that, not to mention my shoes kept sticking to the floor.

After finally exchanging names, we talked about the usual "getting-to-know-you" things. I can't remember what words were spoken, but I do remember the image. His eyes, his face, his gesture, what he drank...The way his elbow sat on the table and his head leaned onto his hand. The way he smirked in that dark way saying that he was barely interested but wanted to know more, the way those red lines just above his eyes began and ended…I didn't know then he would turn everything that I was accustomed to upside down.

I remember all of that perfectly. Come to think of it, I mustn't remember the conversation because I was so focused on what he looked like.

Before I knew it, I had five drinks in me, all screwdrivers, and I hadn't seen the room move like that since I was on a merry-go-round as a kid. But the bar actually looked higher class with those drinks in me.

I know that I forgot a lot from that night after I hit six glasses, but I do remember thinking whether or not he was trying to seduce me, and why I was so…intrigued by that. It was the complete opposite of the straight-forward clinginess that my girlfriend, Amy, projected.

…I never did the whole "one night stand" thing before. I've had plenty of chances with girls, but I never thought it was a "nice" thing to do, tossing aside a girl after we've had sex the next morning, forgetting her name a few hours later. That just wasn't me. And just going home with some stranger from a bar seemed odd, before that night anyway. I couldn't help myself this time though. One, I was pretty much smashed, two…there was something mysterious about him that I was so drawn to he could've told me to do the chicken dance and I probably would have, just to spend more time with him.

I spent the night at his place, and I remember waking up to the most awkward moment I had ever experienced.

It was the first morning I woke up next to a guy.

Not the last, but the first, and it scared me. I wasn't gay, and I'm not now. I'm just…attracted to Shadow. If there was a sexuality called "Shadow," that's what I would be.

I remember lying there for at least an hour before waking him up. I thought about slipping out unnoticed and then running home…but I couldn't. Once again, I'm not like that, and I really couldn't leave him behind. I didn't want him out of my life already.

I thought about a lot of things. What would happen if I stayed, if I left, if I should tell Amy, if I shouldn't, how I wish I could remember more of last night, and how I swore off alcohol (which only lasted until the next party I went to.) At one point, I pulled the cover off of me and I was actually very close to just up and leaving.

And then…I remember looking at him. He looked so completely opposite when he slept. He had that sort of devilish grin when he was awake, and he had a mischievous, and serious disposition about him, but when he slept, he looked innocent and peaceful. His eyes were gently shut, he curled himself into the blanket, his face was half pressed into the pillow, and it was, dare I say, "cute."

I rolled over on my side so we would be facing each other. A smile I couldn't pull off with tweezers slipped onto my face as I gently shook his shoulder to wake him. When his eyes opened, it was like a new beginning to another chapter in my life.

But now, it feels like the beginning of the end to some cliché tragic novel.

I'm back at my apartment building before I even realize I had left the spot where him and I just stood together, where I then stood alone with the words _'you're the worst thing that has ever happened to me'_ ringing through my head. I must have zoned out during the walk home, thinking about the night that changed my life.

I walk in through the glass doors. I look down at my watch as I hear them close behind me, '1:45 AM.' We must have been talking for awhile because the last time I looked at it, it read '10:30 PM.'

The lobby looks abandoned at this time of night. No one is behind the desk, the hallway that leads to the dining area is vacant, and the lights are dim. It gives me a sort of eerie feeling, or that feeling just might be that fact I may never see him again.

I shove my hands hard into my coat pocket and trudge up the stairs, dragging my feet like they were a chore, just hoping no one would be out to see me. Even if it was 1:45 in the morning, with my luck, someone will be out to say 'Hi, Sonic! How are ya? What's wrong?' Then, with the way I am feeling now, I'll just give them a sneer and slam my door shut. Then the papers will read 'Hero rude to his fans!'

I really hope no one sees me.

Thankfully, no one did. It was clear all the way to the third floor, and then down the hallway to my apartment, 8C.

It's nothing much here. I may be a hero, but I'm not a big spender. My apartment is a relatively good size with not much furniture. Just a couch, a chair, an end table here and there. A television sits in my living room, a bed in my bedroom, and then essential kitchen items in the kitchen. I'm not a very complicated individual. The extra things I do have are just crap Amy decided to shove in here to make it look more "homey."

I throw my navy blue coat onto a nearby chair and I practically trip on something on the floor that isn't normally there. I look down, just past my shoes, to see a tiny basket with a bright pink bow.

I already know who it is from, the total opposite of who I _want_ it to be from. I sigh and step over it, not really caring about it, knowing it is some fruit basket Amy made for me…again. She's always trying to get me to eat healthier, I swear she is worse than a mother.

I go into the kitchen for two aspirins for this headache that slowly surfaced since he ran away from me, and on my way back out of the kitchen with two Tylenol and a glass of water, I glance at the trash, noticing it is a replica of exactly what I feel like: discarded.

I take a deep breath, trying to push the thought of him to the back of my mind as I plop on the couch, careful not to spill my water. I lean over and press the 'play' button on my answering machine sitting on an end table, the light blinking beside a number three.

I hear a beep and then her voice.

"_Hey, sweetheart, it's Amy. Just wondering where you are, you never called me tonight."_

As if I have to check in with her.

"_Well, I left you a present, hope you like it! Give me a call, okay? I love you."_

Click.

I hear another beep, as I throw the pills down my throat, and then her voice again. I growl under my breath, and practically lunge for the answering machine, almost spilling my water, and hit the forward button.

Beep.

"_Sonic…"_

I hear his voice through the speaker and I spit out some water due to complete shock, practically choking on the pills I took. I crawl on to the edge of the couch quickly, pressing my hands on the arm, and kneeling up, as if getting closer to the machine brings me closer to him.

_"…you can get over here tomorrow about three and get your shit. It's only a few things, but I don't want them here. I'll leave them by the front door. I'll be out all day so bring your key, and make sure you leave it behind."_

Click.

His voice sounded so cold, and he didn't even say goodbye.

I stare at the machine for a few moments, waiting for him to say _'Just kidding. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow.'_

But it never comes. Instead the number that used to read three, just turns back to zero.

I debate on what reaction to take, what emotion to go with because there are so many flowing through me right now my body can't keep up.

I'll go with anger.

I felt my veins practically pop. I tend to overreact with things. It's a shock that it's taken this long for him leaving me to kick in, and now, I am pretty pissed off.

I jump off the couch, grabbing a vase that was sitting on the coffee table, and fling it directly across me, forcing it to collide with the wall and smash into an innumerable amount of pieces. To top that off, the pictures I had on that wall that Amy had given me also shattered upon impact.

I kneel on the floor, gripping my quills tightly, and squeeze my eyes shut even though on the back of my eyelids all I can see is him. I growl, trying to hold back from screaming, knowing it could result in waking the neighbors, but I realize I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything.

I feel my voice gurgle from my stomach and I scream so loud from the bottom of my diaphragm I think I could shatter even more glass "FUCK YOU, SHADOW!"

I just sit there for at least a half hour, trying to calm down, crying, shaking…trying to still stay angry at the situation to prolong the depression stage, something I hated being, but it was inevitable to come and I hated that even more.

"You said you could handle this." I mumbled practically incoherently under my tears and breath. I felt like a helpless child, knelt down in the middle of his room, crying weakly.

"I told you on that first morning we spent together that I had a girlfriend, and you said you could handle it. You told me you've never felt this way about anyone and you didn't care how you got to see me again, just as long as you could."

I feel the anger pour through those words as I speak to no one in particular, and I feel the depression of tears soften them. I'm tired of switching back and forth between the two, and anger is beginning to surface again.

"And then you tell me you can't take it anymore!" I yell, but not loud enough for anything outside my apartment to hear. "You shouldn't have gotten involved if you couldn't take it! You fucking set me up, you bastard."

I lean my elbows on my legs and just let my head fall in my vibrating hands. I feel beaten, useless, selfish…

"I knew this couldn't work. I knew it."

The whole event from just a few hours is repeating over and over in my mind. The way it started out fine and normal, to where he tells me I have to choose, to where I can't and he knows I can't…to him running away from me.

I sob in my hands, giving into the depression side that was fighting the anger. Depression wins.

"I love you." I say, slowly lifting my head from my palms, my shaking beginning to seize, yet the tears now fall silently down my red cheeks.

Those words hurt worse than any I've heard before because I don't think there is anything mutual about that phrase anymore.

I feel practically exhausted from the time, the tears, the pills, and the situation. I manage to stand to my feet. The room is completely blurry from the tears and my now swollen red eyes.

I just hang my head and walk towards my bedroom where a lonely, restless sleep awaits me.


	2. Fake

**Hidden**

**Chapter Two**: Fake

I just lie there, staring at the ceiling, thinking back on the predicament I got myself in. The sun has been up for hours and I'm angry I've seen it so long because it means I haven't slept much considering I remember finally falling asleep last night when the sun began to poke itself through my window.

It takes me at least another hour to get out of bed.

When I eventually do though, I feel like a robot. I don't even think about what I am doing while I am doing it. Before I realize it, I've had a shower, dressed in my usual t-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt, jeans, my teeth brushed, my quills down, and the whole time…I thought about him.

I thought this only type of sappy heartache was on those bad soap operas that Amy watches. It is really beginning to annoy me how pathetic I am being about this. I must have slept at the most, two hours last night, and tears randomly keep filling up at the thought of times I spent with him.

Now, I have to go pick up my "shit" while he is out because he doesn't want to see me.

I feel my eyes welling again but I keep my chin up to keep them in my tear ducts. After all, I am seeing Amy today and I can't cry in front of her or else I'd have to spit out what's wrong, or think up some dumb excuse like my dog died.

I don't even _have_ a dog.

I sigh at that excuse as I make my way into the kitchen. I am a bad liar, I admit it, I'm the worst at making up stories, and to think…I've kept my affair quiet for so long. But it's an easy secret to keep, and when I say those words in my head a sly grin slips on my face.

A gesture he always would use.

But if you think about it, it is about 90 percent easier to hide sleeping with a male then a female if you are in fact a male yourself. Amy found Shadow's cologne in my car before. She asked about it and I told her the truth: that Shadow left it in there. If she had found another female's perfume bottle, she'd leave me in a heartbeat…

And then probably come back a week later. Amy is so infatuated with me, she puts up with the worst. I am not the easiest person to deal with, as most people put it. Some of my faults are, as told to me by others: "I am egotistical and unaware of others feelings." I don't quite understand when people call me a selfish asshole because a lot of times they can call me so kind and good-hearted. People just don't know what the hell they are talking about, so I don't usually listen anyway.

I glance at the clock just before I stick my head in my refrigerator to find something to eat before I head over to his apartment. It's already 2:30. My eyes widen in a bit of surprise, it really took me awhile to drag myself out of that bed.

I figure I might as well go pick up Amy now before she starts calling me. I forget about the food, grab my coat, my keys already inside, and I walk out my door.

After waiting for her to finish getting ready for about fifteen minutes, she finally walks out to my car. Her pink, combed quills, bounce as she walks in her heels. Her brown, plaid green skirt flows as she swings her hips to my car. She smiles widely at me as she lets herself in. She leans over and I hug her back, just like I usually do. It's more to touch her than anything else really. I've never felt emotion behind this. As soon as she opens her mouth that's when I stop paying attention.

Maybe I can be an asshole.

I shake my head at that thought as I start my car again to go head down to his apartment.

He's fifteen minutes away, and it is 3:04. Maybe he said 3:00 for a reason? Maybe he is there, and wants to talk about things instead of having me just pick up my "shit." Hopefully…maybe…probably not.

She's talking, going on about her usual things: clothes, friends, gossip…things I don't care to hear about. Amy is the most social girl I've met in my lifetime, and if I just let her speak, and then come in with the occasional "oh really?" "yeah" or "wow," I can keep her talking for over an hour. No joke.

The only thing I really say to her with interest is that we are going to Shadow's because "I left my other sweatshirt there last week" and she thinks nothing of it.

Ten more minutes and I'll be in his apartment. I know that nothing good can come from this visit, and this just may be the last time I am in there, but I'll get to smell him, feel his presence in some way, and I'll get to relive the many memories we've had in there…for one last time.

Those last three words make me sick to my stomach to think about.

Only five minutes away and my throat is dry, my insides are doing gymnastics, and my brain is twisting every wrong way possible. I feel so immensely nervous I swear I must've swallowed butterflies only moments ago.

I don't even notice the few tears that run down my cheeks.

"Sonikku?" She asks me very concerned, "what is wrong?" It sounds as if she is almost in a state of shock. I don't think I've ever cried in front of her before. Hell, I forgot I _could_ cry until last night.

I jerk my head in her direction, the car swerving along with me and her hands reaching out for the dashboard in the process.

She asks again, although this time it is more of a statement with worriment as the undertone, "Tell me what's wrong."

With her asking me a second time, I think of what I should tell her, practically panicking, and this only forces the tears to slip out more in numbers.

I feel so weak.

My eyebrows cringe and my lips quivers as her eyes burn into me. I feel like she is reading my soul, my mind, like she is going to blurt out "I know you love him, admit it, you cheater!"

We're only a block away from his house and the sooner I get out of this car the better before I breakdown, lean my head on the wheel, and cry, putting Niagara Falls to shame. I should just tell her. It's over with him now, isn't it? Why should I keep it from her any longer?

I feel her hand on the back of my neck and it sends a shiver down my spine. I swear, for a moment, I feel my blood stop flowing.

I sniffle once, maybe twice, and I pull into a parking spot quickly, not caring if I'm even in it straight. I turn off the car, and attempt to practically jump out my door, into oncoming traffic for all I care, just to get out of this car, away from her questions, her looks, her touch, just _her._

But she stops me. Her concerned hand grabs hold of my arm, and I know what she is going to say, what she is going to repeat. I close my eyes, my head already facing towards the left driver's side window so she cannot see my tears. This is it. After three years of our relationship, I will tell her that out of those three, I never loved her, and for two, I've been deeply in love with a man.

It even sounds weird when I run those words through my head. This is just like one of those cheesy chic shows that I hate so much. It's even more pathetic that this is my life.

Funny how things turn out.

"Sonic…look at me."

I sigh. Here we go. My head turns. I open my eyes and they connect with hers. I actually feel like I could just hug her and forget about everything. It would be easier after all…but I consider it only for a moment.

"What is wrong?"

"I…" Only three more words, only three more and I can be in the arms of the one I really love. I'll go upstairs, and wait for him to get home and tell him that no one will ever come between us.

But…I can't. I cannot get past that first word. I can't say it. I know that this situation fits the complete description of an asshole, but I can't do this to her. I can't tell her _'I don't love you.'_ I feel too bad, especially after her eyes sparkle into mine with just complete innocence and a pure nature.

I feel so low.

"You…what?" She asks me, eager to hear my explanation and seemingly scared at the same time.

I have to think, fast. I feel like I am dangling above a shark tank and if I don't think of something quick, the rope holding me above the water will break, and I will either drown or be a main course.

I feel like I am drowning already.

"I…"

And for a brief moment, the dog idea popped back into my head, and before realizing again just how bad it is, I blurt it out.

"…lost my dog. He…died."

She cocked her head back, giving me that sort of look that says _'What the hell are you talking about?'_ "But…you don't have a dog."

She may be annoying, but not stupid.

"Yes I do." I am the worst liar on the face of this planet, and the only thing helping me out here is that I sound so sad when I say this.

Think quick stupid, save yourself! One of those sharks is nibbling at my ankle and if I don't do something, I'm dead bait.

"You see…my dog was at my mom's house." I ramble, hoping to some sort of God that it comes out convincing and that it makes some sense. "We got him when I was eleven. My mom called me and said he died this morning."

I think of Shadow again, trying to muster up some more tears to make this look even more convincing.

"I feel so horrible because I loved that dog, but I haven't seen him in about four years."

I'm beginning to climb up the rope, smiling evilly at the hungry sharks.

"I didn't get to say goodbye."

I see her lip slip out a bit, forming a slight pout, obvious that she bought it. My eyes widen from shock that she did believe me, but she thinks it's because I am still upset.

"Oh, Sonikku, come here. I'm sorry." She pulls me into a hug, and I could just pass out in her arms right there. For a moment, I think I might.

I pull away, and after five more minutes of her "comforting" me over my dead dog…I walk into his building.

I still can't believe that just happened.

But with that done and over with, I make my way up the stairs. I had the opportunity to take the elevator, but I figured I'd walk off whatever the hell just happened in that car. Besides, I want to make this moment last as long as possible considering this just may be the last time I do this.

I'm at the second floor, and I see the long hallway I've walked down many times, even ran down, just to get to him quicker. I take my time now though, examining every inch of the hallway. The way the brown indoor-outdoor carpet turns up in some places, the way the paint is chipped on only the right side of the wall because they've never redone it yet like they had the left, the way the one light in front of apartment D7 would flicker every time I walked by it, and…

I freeze. I'm about five apartments down the hallway from his and I see his door open, then shut. A black hedgehog emerges from it, walking to the other end of the hallway to the elevator. I inch myself closer, quietly, although I want to scream for him, run towards him, anything…but all I do is stare dumbfounded, my feet barely shuffling along the carpet. I don't have a clue what I would say if I did manage to get his attention.

He's standing in front of the elevator, obviously waiting for it to arrive so he can leave. Maybe he waited for me? I check my watch. 3:34. Damn Amy. If I didn't have to go out of my way to pick her up, I would've been here at exactly 3:00. I think he waited for me. He must have. Now he is leaving!

I run. I run so fast I think I am going to collide straight with the wall that ends this hallway.

When I get there, he's in the elevator and the door is shutting. The two halves of it are about to collide with each other, but not before he looks up at me, our eyes connecting for that split second. I know he sees the pink in mine, showing clearly that I was crying. I can see it in his eyes too.

But they're so cold and lifeless towards me at the same time.

I don't say anything and the two halves close to make one, leaving me staring at my own reflection. I lean my head onto the cold steel doors, closing my eyes, thinking of how close I was yet how I was even further. I shouldn't even of shown myself, I feel pathetic now. He didn't even look like he cared.

My eyes pop wide open.

Amy.

Just great, I come to my ex-boyfriend's to pick up my stuff, and my current girlfriend, who is the reason for our break-up, is waiting outside for me.

I really _can_ be an asshole.

I run into his apartment, ignoring whatever is on the floor, what is around me and I run for the window, just in time to see him walk out of the building. He notices the car, and he may not of noticed her if she didn't poke her damn head out and yell for him; followed by giving him a hug and striking up some conversation that he nor myself wanted him to be in at the moment. I peek again, he's trying to force a smile as she greets him but it only lasts a moment, and even two stories up, I can feel his frustration with me within him.

I can't watch anymore and I fall on the maroon chair that sits by the window. I close my eyes and lean my head back. My arms are sprawled out onto the arms of the chair, and my legs are stretched straight ahead in front of me.

Did he really wait for me? If he did that means there must be some hope right? If he waited…that means he wanted to see me for something, whether it be good or bad, just the fact that he wanted to see me.

Maybe there really is hope.

I stand up and manage to smile. Maybe he wants me back. Maybe all will be back to normal again. Maybe he misses me even. He could have realized he made a big mistake. He did look like he was crying. Kind of.

Of course there is always that he may have just been running late, but I don't think about that because I feel lighter with this tiny gleam of hope. I don't want to ruin that, considering the awful mood I've been in.

I look around the room and my smile is consistent. This may not be my last visit after all. The white walls, the maroon couch, the television, his paintings…this place has felt like my home for the past two years. A place I really belonged to and loved being in.

I glance over at the door to see a bag sitting patiently beside the foot of it and my hope falters. It doesn't leave, but it falters. I walk over to it slowly and cautiously as if something may pop out and do anything to ruin the good mood that I just slipped into. I pass the couch, the end table, the plant, the computer, and I stop at the door, peering down at this bag filled with my things...things he doesn't want anymore.

I bend down, letting my bent legs support my weight. The hope fades a little bit more as I open it and the first thing I see is a picture of us together. We're in his apartment, sitting together on the same maroon couch that sits only a few feet away from me. There is a big smile on my face, which was usual for me apart from these past two days, and he had _that_ look on his face. That look where he isn't quite smiling, but smirking, and you could just tell he was smiling on the inside.

I love that look.

That was the day we just sat in and took pictures. There must be over thirty he left for me in this bag.

Hope is non-existent.

I thumb through picture after picture smiling and then immediately frowning over and over again. I feel anger well up inside of me just like last night and I toss the pictures back in the bag as they scatter to the bottom of it across whatever else is in there.

I sit there for a moment, my head in my hands, my nerves bouncing like they were injected with some sort of drug, and I just think about him. How could he do this if he really loved me? Why am I not strong enough to admit that I am in love with a guy and break up with my girlfriend? And why can't I bring myself to do a damn thing about any this?

"Sonic!"

I jerk my head towards the window at the sound of Amy's scream. Was Shadow stupid enough to do something drastic? I didn't think he'd go _that_ far. There's one thing about not wanting me to be with her anymore, it's another to hurt her!

I throw my hand through the holders of the bag and run out of the apartment. I run as fast as I can down the stairs and practically jump through the doors to get outside. I halt. I don't see Shadow, and I don't see anyone but Amy. She's leaning up against my car with the brightest look of excitement I've ever seen on someone.

"Uh…Amy?"

"Oh Sonikku!" She yelled, lunging towards me and my immensely confused expression. "I will!"

I put the bag down next to me, and then take her shoulders gently with both of my hands so she can look at me. "What are you talking about?"

She tilts her head and shoves my shoulder playfully as if I should know exactly what she is talking about. "Don't play silly with me. I found it."

"Found what?"

"The engagement ring! It was in your glove compart-"

"What!" I practically yell at her, not meaning to as my eyes feel like they are going to roll out of my sockets, into the street, and get hit by one big ironic bus.

That white-gold _band_ was not meant for her, but for Shadow, and I bought it on a whim. I was in one of my "everything-is-fine-and-romantic" moods and I bought it for him months ago. I never did give it to him or even tell him about it. I walked out of the mall and left it in the glove compartment, vowing myself stupid. But I didn't have the heart to take it back to the store.

It was half of a pair. I have the other sitting in my bureau at home.

She looked confused, like that wasn't the tone she expected in my voice.

I can't very well tell her who it is really for, especially since it is already on her damn finger…"That's not an engagement ring, Amy." I say, trying to smile, and speak softly to make up for my abrupt voice from a second ago.

She smiles again, "Oh, I know…But it's a wedding band! Don't try to cover up for it just because I found it. I saw the same one in the mall the other day with the other wedding rings. You'll still have to get me a diamond though. All girls need a diamond."

I just smile awkwardly, not knowing what else to do. She has me cornered with no other place to go then to her.

"Surprise?"

"Oh Sonic!" She leaped into my arms, and I even bought into this moment by spinning her around and giving her a kiss while I was really thinking…

That I just dug myself into an even deeper hole.


	3. Different

**Hidden**

**Chapter Three**: Different

My phone never stops ringing.

"_Sonic! You dog, you! Congrats, Mr. Amy Rose!"_ Knuckles.

"_Hey, Sonic, I want to be in the wedding. Congratulations."_ Rouge.

"_Sonic! You're finally getting married! Wow…congratulations, buddy."_ Tails.

This past week has been hell for me. It completely baffles my mind how the entire world seems to know about this damn engagement that was never even supposed to happen anyway. I guess the fact that it was in the newspaper doesn't help any. That's what I get for being a hero though; the world knows what goes on in my personal life. For the first time though, I am grateful it's not as hectic anymore, or else I'd really be up a creek without a paddle. If I had gotten engaged when I was sixteen (not that I would've), this whole story would be on the front of all the papers. Eggman's been in jail for about five years now and there aren't too many mad scientists around that want to take over the world anymore. Now, though I hate to admit it, I am a bit of a has-been hero of 25, still recognized but not as much so.

Her parents are thrilled, just like everyone else. They even invited us to dinner tonight to celebrate, and as I stand here in front of my closet, figuring out what I would look "presentable" in, I wonder…just how I can strangle myself with a wire hanger.

I shake my head. This isn't me. I'm not acting like myself. Thoughts as negative as this have never crossed my mind before. I usually laugh at the problems in life, never letting the weight of the world upon my shoulders. I used to just brush things off and relax…this is not who I am.

I feel so empty without him.

I sigh and just grab a random dress shirt, snapping it off its hanger, not even bothering to notice the color. Amy had ironed my pants and suit jacket for me yesterday and I turn to them as they lay there on the bed, already laid out for me. I think they almost feel pity on me as I slip them on.

We pull up to the Rose's family home. The house seems to be one right out of a movie. Single home with the perfect garden in front, the perfect walkway leading to the perfect front door, the perfect siding seems to glisten white even in the dark along with the maroon shutters beside crystal windows.

She clutches onto my arm like a bracelet and we approach the house. Her parents never bothered me before and are actually nice people, but with everyone around me talking about this engagement (that I ponder ever second of my existence to get out of), I just hope that this night turns out well and I don't do anything stupid.

I feel like a balloon with too much air. I can't help but wonder when I'll pop.

We're in front of the tall, white door, and Amy's smile is bright. Mine equals her brightness, just with a bunch of fabrication thrown in with it. I take a deep breath, straighten my suit jacket, and close my eyes for a moment as the footsteps from the other side of the door approach me.

"You look nervous, honey. Don't be." She reassures me with a kiss on the cheek.

The door opens and a burst of light and warmth hits me from inside.

"Daddy!" She almost leaps into her father's arms. I was completely out of this bubble of happiness and excitement.

Her dad is kind of a scrawny, tall hedgehog. Bright red fur shines off his skin, his quills stick out like mine except are pressed down a bit more, and he has a limp when he walks from a bad knee injury that never healed correctly. His face is warm, comforting...he's just a man with a happy and welcoming disposition. His clear-rimmed glasses sit on the edge of his nose, his navy blue sweater ends just above his perfectly pressed khakis, and he wraps his daughter into a great hug, as if he hasn't seen her in years, even though he saw her last week.

"Mommy!" Then she does the same to her mother.

Her mother is actually very beautiful. Snowy white fur covers her from head to toe, her quills combed down much like Amy's but longer, a nice purple dress lays under her pink apron, and she too, wraps her arms around her daughter in the same way her father did.

I just stand there until they are finished their little hug fest until her parents finally invite us in off the step. Her father pats me on the back a few times, smiling at me, and then her mother gives me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I know what they are thinking, they just haven't said it yet…but they will. I'll get the _"you're a good guy, Sonic. I know you'll treat my daughter right and blah blah blah" _speech soon.

These two love me and I don't really know why. Probably because I am a hero, hell, I think that's the only reason Amy was interested in me in the first place.

"Sonic, my boy" he starts.

I smile at him as he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his slightly taller form. Amy and her mother head into the kitchen to prepare dinner further and her father and I walk into his den.

"Congratulations on this engagement! I am glad it is you, son. You're a great choice for my daughter. Couldn't have chosen better."

I keep my polite smile on display. "Thank you, sir. It's really good to hear that from you."

He directs a hand towards a brown leather chair off in the center of the room for me to sit down in.

"Want a drink?" He asks, walking over to a tiny bar in the corner of the room.

"Sure."

The whole room gives me a weird vibe. I feel like I am in a professor's office in a University, even that is what Amy's father does for a living so it is expected. The expensive looking desk sits in front of a big picture window, giving a view of their perfect backyard. The expensive, sleek laptop is sitting upon his desk amongst many papers. The whole room is mostly dark oak. The floors too, are lain out in shiny wood, with the exception of a few rugs here and there to prevent scratches.

The whole house is furnished to a T; her family sure does have money. You could just tell that Amy was spoiled rotten as a child. Her parents are so obsessed with their daughter that if I broke off the engagement…they would probably send out a hit man after me.

It's getting to the point where if I don't tell her soon, I may not be able to get myself out of this whole mess at all and just live miserably the rest of my life.

I've actually considered it.

He turns back around, two small glasses filled with whisky coming towards me. I politely thank him as he hands me one and we engage in the conversation of, of course, Amy. Him telling me how proud he is of her, how perfect we are together, how we were meant for each other…

So this is where Amy gets it from. She talks just like him, even when she was twelve. Her mother is the same way. She'll probably grab me after dinner with this same exact conversation.

I tune him out the same way I do Amy. I come in with the occasional "yes, sir" and nod a lot, a sincere look on my face so he thinks I am serious to dedicating my life to her.

Every breath I manage to breathe through this whole mess, I hope with every particle of life in my body that Shadow hasn't found out about this. Not until I at least fix it. I can't let him find out from someone else, from some newspaper. I need to tell him, but it needs to precede 'I left her for you.'

But with luck and probability not being on my side…he most likely has known for a few days now.

Amy hops in the den, and clasps her hands together. "Dinner is ready boys. Hurry before it gets cold." She shoots out a wide smile, almost blushing actually, and goes off into the dining room, where her father and I both follow.

As I chew on my perfectly cooked steak, I'm constantly prodded with questions from Mr. and Mrs. Rose. How Amy and I first met, how I proposed…oh, they just loved that story. I didn't give their precious daughter a perfect proposal. I could tell they were biting back their tongues to be polite about that one. They ask me how our friends reacted about it, what date we want, what dress Amy would look beautiful in, how I should put my quills…

Sitting there in the midst of all this…I feel like I choke. I feel nothing left inside of me, like my face is being pulled down with two sets of pliers. My heart skips a beat and I can just feel the vomit starting to boil within my stomach lining. I want to jump out the window, and as I would lay there, a shadow of him would appear over me, laughing at me…knowing everything would end this way.

This balloon is about to pop.

I can't take this. I am usually one to crave for the center of attention, to feel like I should be the only thing to focus on but now I want nothing more than to crawl under the earth, and be left alone. This isn't me!

I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde…and Mr. Hyde is beginning to piss me off.

I need to escape.

I feel the pain well up inside of me and it turns to ambition, to need—the need to get the hell out of here, and out of all this stress. I literally cannot take this any longer.

Before I practically run out the door, I manage to throw an excuse at them, that I wasn't feeling well and needed some air, so to not draw anymore unwanted attention at me.

On their perfect brick walk-way, in front of the perfect house, beside the perfect garden…I stand there, a complete mess, completely imperfect.

I do not belong here.

I look up at the stars and I just want to pull each one out of the sky and ruin their beauty because I am everything but. I am a disgusting being. I fake a relationship with a nice girl that I only got involved with in the first place because I felt bad for her and it would look good for my image. And then I go and sleep with a guy, and realize that love is not just something from the movies, that it is something that exists within him_._ But instead of breaking it off with the fake relationship to be truly happy, I have to try and have my cake and eat it too.

I'm in a lose-lose situation here. No matter what I do, I'm screwed. I've even worsened the situation tenfold because I've waited so damn long. If I do break it off with Amy, I have all of this heat on me of everyone asking me _"why? You two are perfect for each other!"_ but most of all, I have a horrible heartbreak on my hands no matter what. I can either keep his heart broken and keep hers together, or fix his and shatter hers. I know I look like the bad guy in this but I honestly don't want to hurt anybody! I don't and that's what put me into this situation in the first place. I'm selfish, yet unselfish…I wish I could just be one or the other.

I hear the door creek open lightly and her heels click on the brick path as she approaches me.

"Are you alright? You looked like you were going to be sick at dinner." She curls her arms against herself, pulling her hands further insider her camel-colored coat.

I turn away, unable to face her. I can only picture what will come in a matter of minutes. My words, her face shrieking with disgust and pain, all of her tears…this is the last thing I want to do to her but I cannot prolong this any longer. I need to fix this. I need my life back. I need him back.

I need myself back.

"Sonic?" I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I need to just blurt it out before I second guess myself again and let my conscience kick in and screw me over. I sigh and turn around abruptly, forcing her hand to fall.

"Amy?" I look straight into her emerald eyes as the words sit on the tip of my tongue. They are so wide and bright, so beautiful…I bite my tongue and spit out the words because I am on the verge of holding them back again. I can't do that. "I can't do this."

She smiles. "It's okay. They are only my parents-"

I interrupt. "No…not that." I look down at both of our shoes; I can't bear to look at her. "Me and you…I can't do it. I'm living a lie and I don't want to anymore."

"What?" She chokes out, going through shock before sadness.

I bite my lip, might as well tell her everything. I've lied to her long enough; she should know all that happened, she at least deserves that much. "I..I'm in love…with someone else. I've been cheating on you, Amy."

I clench my eyes shut. I never realized just how bad that sounded before.

Silence hangs in the air and it is so heavy my lungs feel like they are being crushed. I manage to lift my heavy head and see hers now looking down, focused on the cold ground like I was.

"…I know." She confesses quietly.

She is no longer the only one in shock out here.

"I thought if I just waited long enough, you'd realize just how much you love me. I thought that's what finally happened when I found the ring. I didn't think you could possibly…love him for real."

I stand there, blinking, my jaw agape. The only words flowing through my head are _'You have got to be kidding me.'_

She lifts her head, her eyes shrink-wrapped in tears, and I see a newfound hatred I've never, in all my ten years of knowing this girl, witnessed swell within them.

"I guess I was wrong, huh Sonic? You're just like everyone says you are…a selfish asshole."

I step back with one foot, trying to think if this is really the same Amy from ten minutes ago. The kind, adoring, loving Amy I've always known.

And…everyone doesn't really say that about me.

She whimpers lightly in tears, and I actually feel a hole drilling through me at how sad she looks, like her world has been drained of all its color and life. "A dog? Honestly, I'm not that stupid. I knew you were upset over him." Her voice is soft yet cold.

She sniffles and wipes a few tears that snuck onto her cheeks.

Her head slowly lifts, and she tries to gain her composure, standing tall as she says: "Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me."

I stare at her face, avoiding her eyes, completely surprised at what she says. Maybe I do. Maybe my conscience is just screaming at me to love her because I feel so terrible that I hurt her that I feel lower then dirt.

My eyes lift to hers, but I close them, only for a moment, actually unprepared for what may happen within the next few seconds. I take a deep breath, open them, and our eyes meet. I stare deep into hers. Past the iris, the pupil, into her soul, trying to see if I do in fact love her.

All I see is red. I see the crimson of his eyes and how they used to stare into mine with love that only could be found in those pools of red if truly searched for. I find nothing in her eyes. Beauty…but it is empty.

I really don't love her and everything has been a lie. Our whole relationship is completely fake, and now I find out, it is a fake on both of our parts; we've lied to each other. Apparently, she knew all along about Shadow but kept it from me, competing with him to hold on to me.

She's lost.

"I don't love you." My voice is low, just above a whisper.

A few silent tears slip down her cheeks again as we stare into each other's eyes for a few more seconds, both hoping something else would come. It doesn't.

She pulls the ring that I had "given" her off of her finger and gently places it in my hand. I clench it tightly and I look down at my closed fist, still trying to process that this is ending, and that I can't make her feel better, no matter how much I want to.

She inches towards me and kisses my cheek for more than a few seconds, but when she finally pulls away she whispers in my ear, "I love you, Sonikku. I always will, but I never want to see you again."

She steals one last look into my eyes and walks back into her house with her head cast down, and the last thing I see of her is her face, avoiding mine, as she shuts the door between us.

I stare down at my closed fist again. I think of all the times that I wanted this moment to happen, and how happy I thought I would have been, only to realize how unbelievably sad I feel. Not that I've lost her as my girlfriend, but the fact that she said she never wanted to see me again. I don't want her out of my life completely; she was always a good friend, a kind individual…

I'm saying now how kind she is, and I've treated her like absolute shit.

I really am a selfish asshole.

I sigh, turn on my heel, and direct myself towards my car. I sit in the driver's seat and stare at the steering wheel blankly with an emotionless face. I feel awful. She is probably in there crying her eyes out to her parents that now hate me more than anything. And to think, not even an hour ago, they were giving me lectures on how I will never hurt their daughter.

I turn on the ignition and begin to drive home.

As I drive down the dark street, dimly lit with rare streetlamps, I wonder if that was the right thing to do. It's hard to even press my foot on the accelerator to move faster. It's like my body is unwilling to function.

But then…my foot presses faster. I think of him. I think of how I can get him back and the thought of leaving her has actually left my mind. My slate is clean. I am single again. I can have the one I love. Screw my image, screw what everyone thinks, I love him and that's all that matters.

I just have to hope that he still loves me.


	4. Only One

**Author's Notes: **This story is completely AU (Alternate Universe.)

Also, if it has been a while since you have read the first chapter, it may be best to reread before you read below. Chapter four and one intertwine.

Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

**Hidden**

**Chapter Four**: Only One

I sit on my bed hunched over with my elbows leaning on my knees and I've been twirling a white-gold band for the past fifteen minutes between my fingers. This same band has been sitting in my bureau for nearly a year. It has been untouched and forgotten about and yet it has never lost its meaning.

I slip it on my finger, staring at it and thinking of what it symbolizes. It is very small, plain, and isn't quite along the lines of gaudy but it glistens in my eyes. I bought this for us, on a whim yes, but out of some kind of love that I had in me. I actually regret not giving this to him now. Who knows what could have happened if he had known I was this serious about him…if _I _had realized I was this serious about him.

I've been in my apartment for the last half hour or so, and I begin to pace around my living room. A million things have just been soaring through my head. Shadow, Amy, what to say to Shadow, how I'd react to not getting him back or even getting him back…

One thing I thought about that actually makes me feel better about breaking up with Amy is that I know now that I let her free to find someone who will treat her right. Our whole relationship was a lie. Now, she can find someone who will fall in love with her and it will be nothing but real. She really is a wonderful girl and I wish that sometime we can talk again. And hopefully when we do, she is unbelievably happy because I want nothing more for her. It's something I don't think she could ever achieve with me, true happiness

I get tired of pacing and I flop down on my couch and glance at the clock, wondering if I should see him tonight or wait until tomorrow morning to think of where I can even begin explaining myself to him.

I cling on to a bit of hope that he didn't find out about the engagement. It could make my life somewhat easier when I do eventually muster enough courage to go over there.

Courage? That's something I've never been without…

The clock reads 10:05 PM.

It's not real late, but I don't want to go over there, ready to spill my heart to him and then him not be there…or with someone else.

My eyes widen at the thought of someone else. That's something I have never even considered yet. What if he did begin seeing someone already? It's something he would do. Shadow is spiteful, and the fact that I chose Amy over him, or that he probably found out about the engagement, would send him off with another guy/girl just to hurt me.

I lean back onto the soft cushions, my heart in disbelief, my face in shock, as if what I had just thought were true.

His mouth on someone else's, his hands on them…I practically cringe.

I suddenly feel some kind of insight to how Shadow and even Amy felt. The thought of someone I love being shared? I can't even comprehend how hurt I'd be.

I run my hands over my face, my brown jacket slipping up my arms as they lift; I breathe for a few moments, hoping with my life that these thoughts are false.

I need to know now; I need to tell him now. Waiting just turns my mind against me and has only made things worse in the past. I can't afford to lose another minute without him. I need to make up for lost time. The time he lost knowing that I am only his, something he never had. I need to give him that.

I need to give myself that.

I jump off of my couch as my legs guide me to the door without hesitation. I don't even lock it on my way out as it sways closed behind me.

I run down the stairs of my apartment building, rushing past one of my neighbors. She is an older falcon, with powder blue feathers, a long gray coat, and a matching hat. I nearly knock the groceries out of her hand as she moves aside to let me speed by.

"Oh! Sonic."

I turn around at the bottom of the steps, walking backwards, unable to stop movement flowing through my feet as she stands at the middle of the stairs, probably thanking God that she kept her balance with her groceries in hand. "Sorry Mrs. Wimble." I say apologetically.

She straightens her hat, tucking the bag under one arm. "Where are you off too in such a hurry, young man?" She asks with a humble and concerned tone.

I'm already at the door and her question throws a smile on my face. "Just going to get my boyfriend back. See you later!"

I said it loud enough and with enough confidence for her to hear me correctly, and as I fling open the door to leave, I hear her mumble in confusion, "boyfriend?"

I smile. I don't care who knows it anymore. In fact, I want the world to know. Screw my image, screw being the perfect hero, I am in love with Shadow the Hedgehog.

I have this overwhelming feeling of adrenaline pumping through me and I'm on my feet, running as fast as I can down the pavement that I don't even care about the brisk night air that is beginning to chap my face.

This route I've ran so many times. Down to the house with that black Great Dane that always barks its head off at me, to the corner barber that is always empty, down the main highway swerving in and out of cars, past the main mall, all the way down to his apartment complex. As I approach closer and closer, my heart feels like it is being pulled down by gravity, but then it feels so light I need to pull it down from above my head.

One block away and I slow down to a fast pace walk, not that I am tired, but that I am nervous. That rush of adrenaline I had is beginning to fade and I realize again that I'm going to have to actually say something to get him back. He isn't just going to fall into my arms and love me again. That's not how it works, especially not with Shadow…maybe Amy, but not Shadow.

I'm at the front door of the complex, and luckily enough a couple is on their way out and hold the door for me so I don't have to have him buzz me in.

I choose against the elevator again and begin walking up the stairs. My speed seems to get slower and slower every step I take.

Maybe I'm not ready to do this. Will he really take me back? It could actually be better if our breakup stays this way because if I go up there are find someone else in his apartment, I don't know how I'd react. I could have a complete fit and lash out like a crazy person, or I may take the opposite road and break down and cry right there, not something that I really want people to see me go through.

I halt at that thought. Worrying about my image is what got me in this mess in the first place. I need to stop trying to let the world see a perfect hero when I know that I'm not because no one is. Even sometimes I am so far from being perfect it's ridiculous.

I take a deep breath and realize I am on his floor, at the end of the hallway, staring at the door of his apartment. Now the nervousness is even more present. I feel like I am in a play, behind the curtains that are about to rise for the first act and I know none of my lines. I really wish I knew my lines.

This is way too much stress for one night.

I begin walking down the hallway that I swear has a million eyes and they are all focused on me, refusing to blink. I step over the brown indoor-outdoor carpet turned up in a few places, past the chipped paint on only the right side of the wall, past the flickering light above apartment D7 and I stand at his door. I mentally yell at it to tell me something, anything, begging it to let me know what the right thing to say is when I know I will probably say everything but.

I raise my first to knock on the door and I freeze. I hear movement inside, telling me that he, or someone, is home. This is something I want to do, something I need to do and when I am right in front of this door I_ can't_ quit now. It's just…hard, and I find myself suddenly sweating.

At least I know he is home.

I knock once. I realize it was just below the sound level of a tap and I take a deep breath and knock three more times, but louder.

The movement I heard just a moment ago shifts closer and closer to the obstacle that separates it between us. The door knob rattles and it swings open…

…and swings right back shut.

I saw him for a brief moment; not even a second. He held the door in his black furry hand but slammed it right back in my face just when he realized who it was.

I hang my head, almost feeling defeated, but a part of me kicks in that I haven't felt in awhile. I feel myself surfacing, the me that I used to know so well. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. I am a persistent little bastard and I don't give up that easily.

I knock again.

"If you've come for your wedding present, Mr. Rose, you'll have to wait. I haven't quite brought myself to wrap a big 'Fuck you' yet. Give me a few weeks." His dark, cold, sarcastic remark permeates through the white wooden door.

He's obviously found out about the engagement. My last strand of hope that he hasn't found out has just flew through the window to commit suicide.

I bite my bottom lip and that breeze of confidence starts to fade. I can't let it though; it's the only thing I have left to hold onto right now.

"Open the door, Shadow. I need to talk to you." I sounded surprisingly not desperate.

"And I don't need to listen. If you would ever so kindly get the hell away from my front door, I'd appreciate it."

I look up at the ceiling, debating on how I could get him to open the door, and then the most obvious words come to my head. "If I told you I left her, then would you open it?"

Silence.

My heart pounds and the silence begins to sting. I need some kind of response, anything. The door opening, followed by an 'I love you,' with him bringing me into a heart-felt hug…

Only in the movies. Only in the _damn_ movies.

I hear the door click and it slowly sways open. He stands there, his crimson eyes staring directly into mine, waiting for me to say something.

But I cannot speak, just see. He looks strong, but somewhat worn. His eyes droop with lack of sleep, his quills are as usual, upturned, but jagged, as if he hasn't touched them in days. His red button shirt was unbuttoned at the top, followed by a crooked black tie hanging loosely around his neck and the red untucked from his black pants.

I look past him and notice that his apartment is a mess. I can see clothes flung over his chairs and end tables, trash scattered on the floor, a few empty pizza boxes…I have nothing but perplexed feelings because Shadow was always one to be very neat and enjoyed his own cooking.

He notices me looking past him and narrows the entrance to his apartment with the door so I'd stop gazing.

"Well?" He says, somewhat with an annoyed tone.

He slips me back into the state of mind where I need to start talking or else I might never get him back. I try to speak but my mouth goes dry and my throat tenses. Even if I knew what to say I don't think I'd be able to get anything out.

He shakes his head with an aggravated breath and begins to close the door. This gives me an instant ticket back to reality and I throw my hand on the door to stop it. I manage to leave a space open just before it's able to shut. "Wait! Just hear me out, okay?"

I can tell he is thinking whether or not he wants to listen or just throw the door in my face.

He opens it wider again. "Five minutes."

I take a deep breath, not knowing what to say, but I figure I'll start with leaving Amy.

"Tonight…I visited Amy's parents' house for dinner to celebrate our engagement. I managed to keep up the act half-way through but…I had to break it off. I couldn't deal with being fake with her anymore; the engagement was even a mistake. I prefer being with you. I don't have to fake anything with you. I am myself with you, I can let go with you. Since we haven't been together, I lost who I am. I'm less confident, depressed, paranoid, weak…I just lost myself because I know now that you are my other half. I love you. I don't know how else to say it. I have nothing without you, and you're my _only_ one. I don't want anyone else."

I feel like every one of those words were strung together and didn't exactly make sense but I don't care because they were all true. I haven't spilt my feelings like that before to anyone and I almost blush beneath my fur.

He is quiet, most likely trying to process whatever the hell I just said.

I notice that I am twirling the identical white-gold band to the one I "gave" to Amy on my left hand out of nervousness. I kept it on my finger since I left the house.

I decide to go further, realizing that I need to explain more to him. "The engagement was a complete mistake with her. She found a ring that I bought for you and…" I take a deep breath, curl my lips in and drop my arms to my side. "…I just love you and I don't want to be with anyone besides. I don't know what else to say, Shadow."

And I don't. I have no clue what else I should be saying. I just keep twirling the ring around and around on my finger with my thumb, faster and faster with each passing second that he doesn't say anything.

He takes a step forward and leans on the doorway just in front of me. "So…what? You expect me to stick my tongue down your throat and think everything is better?"

I have a feeling this is going to end badly. I hold back a wince.

"Two years, Sonic. Two fucking years you stuck me in the dark like I was nothing to the world and I was only convenient when no one else was around. You made me feel low. When I told you that you were the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I meant it, you are. I may have loved you but you put me through hell. You ripped my emotions to shreds and now, after two years, I realize the word 'love' is just bullshit. Now that I am gone is when you realize that I'm actually good enough for the big hero? Well, fuck you, Sonic. I'm done. There's the right thing to do, the wrong thing to do, and then the right _time_ to do the right thing and your ship has sailed. You're too late. Now leave your copy of my key because you didn't before."

I stand there completely astounded and he stands there as stern as ever, his arms folded against his chest. I feel sadness welling in me and I reach in my pocket to grab his key. Meanwhile, I am shifting my jaw out and biting my lip, trying to prevent tears and take this like a man, which I am doing rather well actually.

I pull the keys out of my dark brown coat and slip his out of the key-ring. Before I hand it to him, I get an idea and I reach back into my pocket. I pull out the white-gold band, curl it in my fist with his key and hand it to his now outstretched hand.

He holds his fist closed, not looking at the contents. "I love you, Shadow. I always have." I look at him one last time before turning down the hallway to go to the elevator.

I never take the elevator.

I don't even look back as I walk between the opening steel doors, feeling like I don't even have enough strength in me to attempt the stairs, it was all sucked out of me in that short, ten-minute conversation.

I press the button for the ground floor, and then I collapse against the wall, my heart left in that hallway.

I let my mind drift as I begin to go down a floor. I think maybe he is rushing down the stairs now, regretting what all he had just said. Maybe he'll run to the elevator door and wait for me with a smug look on his face. He'll say, "Gotcha" and then this will all be a happy ending to this week of hell.

I stand there as the light above the door highlights the number one and I believe he will be on the other side of the door. He _will_ be there, I know it. It's completely something he would pull.

The doors part and I am welcomed with an empty hallway that leads to the exit of the building.

Disappointment fills that emptiness.

I just feel like utter shit. There is really no other way to describe this. As I walk under the night sky with the stars laughing at me and the moon feeling sorry for me, I think back on the insane night I had. I go to a girl's house, put on an act with her parents, end the act that I've been putting on with her for three years, and break her heart. And then, I decide to get back the only thing that can make me feel better, and the whole situation ends up worse.

Before I had two and now I have nothing.

I walk slowly on the sidewalk, dragging my feet along like there was a ball and chain attached to my ankle. I don't even know where I am going; I just keep focusing on the empty and cold look he kept on me, like I was no one. There was no love in his eyes. He's forgotten me. I've just had my closure and now I am left alone.

I see a rock lying in the middle of the pavement and kick it as hard as I can, focusing all of my pain and aggression in that tiny rock, watching it fly off into the middle of the street.

I need to run.

That rush of adrenaline I felt before has now surfaced again with a different emotion, anger. I feel like I did that night when he first left me, déjà vu. I feel like he's left me all over again and I run as fast as I can, wanting to run away from my emotions, this world, him, her, myself, everything. I just want out.

The wind throws itself at me as I charge for it in no particular direction and the atmosphere begins to change strangely darker around me and the streets seem tighter, dirtier. Nonetheless, I pump my legs harder and harder, faster and faster, not caring about anything or even if I run smack into something. I just _need_ out.

I stop.

"Jack's Tavern," I mumble to myself as I read the sign that in reality says 'Ja k's vern.' Bulbs were burnt out. I'm in the last place that I would ever think I would be again, especially tonight.

Marenden.

I manage to smirk to myself because of the irony and I push open the wooden door with a creek that I haven't touched in two years.

It's dark inside, just as it was before. The tables scattered around the room were accompanied by a few depressed drunks, their heads hanging loosely above the drinks that they keep stirring with tiny straws.

I have a feeling I'll be doing the same thing.

I walk over to the bar and see if I can remember the stool that I sat on last time I was here, and as soon as I sit down on one and wobble, I realize I have.

I shake my head with a tiny smile, still unable to believe that my subconscious led me here. I guess, in a break up, when you're at the end, you end up thinking back on the beginning.

"What'll ya have?"

To my surprise, a squirrel that resembled a sailor without the uniform stood before me on the other side of the bar. The same bartender actually still works here. "Oh uh, I'll have a vodka and orange juice."

"Screwdriver," he mumbles to himself and proceeds to fix my drink.

I swing my feet a bit on the stool and mouth to myself just under a whisper "Hm, a vodka drinker. I'll have a gin and tonic."

I shake my head, a frown stinging my face. I know the extent of this visit will be me sitting here, alone, thinking of the one individual who should be here but won't. I know that it is only a matter of minutes before I join the depressing individuals sitting at the wobbly tables.

The bartender grabs a coaster and almost throws it in front of me and then places my drink on top of it. I go to say thank you, but then remember it will just end up with a grunt from him; instead I just look down at my drink.

"Whaddya want?"

I look back up at him confused, wondering why he would ask me that again since he just handed me my drink.

"Noth-"

I'm interrupted by another voice that takes the seat beside me, "gin and tonic's fine."

The bartender nods at him and I turn my head to him, attempting to keep my jaw attached so it won't fall flat on the floor.

Shadow nonchalantly sat beside me and now looks at me with the faintest smile, as if our past argument hadn't just happened.

He thought for a moment as the bartender silently puts his drink down in front of him, "How about we move to a table instead?"

I smile at him and nod, taking the drink in my hand and follow him towards a table not too far from the bar.

We set our drinks down and sit across from each other. He immediately grabs my hand, but slowly. He goes to say something, but stupidly, I speak first. "How did you know I was here?"

Well, I certainly feel my old self coming back again; interrupting people when they want to say something. Good ol' me.

He shrugs lightly, "You weren't at your apartment, and this is the first place that came to mind."

I smile lightly and look down at his hand holding mine. I notice a slight glimmer to one of his fingers and it matches the same glimmer coming from one of mine. He has the ring on.

I look back up at him, a serious look now thrown on my face, desperate to hear what he has to say and my insides are taken over with excitement.

He looks into my eyes, as if he was searching for something. "Did you mean what you said? That I'm the only one?"

I nod.

"And that you don't care about your image?"

Again.

_That_ look forms on his face. That look where he isn't quite smiling, but smirking, and you could just tell he was smiling on the inside.

I love that look.

"That's all I need to know."

I pull my other hand to his and hold onto it tightly, feeling the ring against my skin. I have an overwhelming feeling of happiness. I feel like I can almost light up this entire room with my smile that I can't even begin to peel off my face.

Nothing else needs to be said. He was never one for the sap speeches. The ring on his finger speaks louder than anything that could ever be said. We could sit here in silence for another four hours and I'd still be just as overwhelmed with happiness as I am now.

"How about we get out of this dump?" I ask with a smirk.

He nods lightly, "agreed."

We both stand up from the table, leaving our drinks there with money under one. I can feel my shoes sticking to the floor and I just laugh lightly. We go to leave together with our arms linked, something we've never done in public besides that night we met. This is how the memory ended. We just added something else in the mix.

Love.

And…that I'm not drunk off my ass either.

_The End_


End file.
